First off, let’s tackle YOUR problem. You must not feel guilty about this. As I mentioned before, your dog does not need a soft squishy bed to sleep. You also MUST be consistent. The moment that you give in to your weakness, your dog will sense it and be right back on the bed next to you. I can see husbands shaking their heads at wives now, but believe it or not, I’ve seen men who are even worse at this than the women! Do not give in! It’s all or nothing with this sort of thing. There needs to be a boundary set up that must never be crossed!

Next, we need to find the next best sleeping arrangement for you and your dog. Obviously, your best sleeping arrangement is in your own bed – without your dog. But what is best for your dog? Do you have a space in your bedroom for a crate? Is your dog even accustomed to a crate? Will your dog sleep on a doggy bed? Or would they have more fun shredding it during the night? Does your dog get up multiple times a night to check on the rest of the family? Maybe outside the bedroom door is really the best option for them if that’s the case?

If your dog is crate trained, get into a routine at night. Allow the dog to follow you while you do your normal nightly routine – shower, brush your teeth, etc. – and then tell them “bed time.” Point to their crate, coax them inside, close the door, and then go to bed. You may hear complaints from your pup. Ignore them. Your dog will eventually quiet down, as you do, and go to sleep.

If you choose to give your dog a bed or a blanket in a particular place in the room, give them an opportunity to get familiar with the space before bed time. Then, again, get into a routine a night. Tell your dog “bed time” and point to the space. You may need to lead them to that space. Try to avoid dragging them by their collar, we don’t want this to an unpleasant experience, instead try using your body to herd them into the area you want them to go. If you need to, tell them “down” to let them know you want them to lie down on the space and then go to bed yourself.

Here’s where things get tricky. If your dog sees you get into bed and they are in the habit of getting into bed when you do, they are likely to get up from their space and jump on the bed. Calmly, get up from bed, use your body to herd them off of the bed telling them “off” as you do, then tell them “bedtime” and direct them to their own bed. Tell them “down” to lie down. And climb back into bed. I’ll warn you, this could take several tries before your dog gets the message. But stay calm and assertive. Be consistent and your message will be understood.

Now, if you’re one that would really prefer the dog stay out of your room altogether, you need to understand that by simply closing the dog outside with the bedroom door, you may cause more harm than good. Creating a barrier where the dog cannot smell, nor hear, nor see you can cause a feeling a loneliness, separation, and serious anxiety for your canine. Instead, I recommend using a mesh baby gate. If you have room outside your door to provide a blanket or doggy bed for your dog, do so. You want them to feel they have a place of their own, while still being near you – but NOT in your bed.

Good luck to you! Breaking a bedtime habit is difficult! Consistency is key. And of course, we all know that we are least consistent when we’re tired and really just ready for bed time. Just remember that this obstacle, like so many others, can be overcome. Try to tackle it on a night when you know you can spare the extra time – say a weekend night when you know you don’t have to be up before dawn to get ready for work. You’ll feel less stress and your dog will be more inclined to work with you.